星期三, 一月 3

一份美丽的虚空




"Malaysian filmmaker Tan Chui Mui has been selected for the 14th session of Cinefondation Cannes Residency..."

"The residency is organised by the prestigious Cannes Film Festival."

"Tan, 28, was selected on the basis of her acclaimed first feature film, Love Conquers All. The film had won two awards at the recent Pusan International Film Festival, where French director Bruno Bumont was one of the jury member of the New Currents Award. "

"The 14th session of residency will run from 28 February to 15 July. During their 4-and-a-half- month stay in Paris, the young directors work on the writing their feature film project, have meetings with professionals and try, with the support of the Cannes Film Festival, to bring their project to co-production status. "

这个最后的版本跟我当初协助宇恒剪的大有不同。宇恒的版本走得较快,为了使结构更严谨,牺牲了几场有趣的戏,特别是小女孩的戏。翠梅的版本重视故事的流畅性和娱乐性,效果作得很好。她对演员的掌握很有天份。

电影着重於呈现美丽的情绪,这和翠梅其他短片作品不谋而合。因为美丽,无论节奏如何慢,还是不觉沉闷,反而享受。电影结束后留下的,却也只是如此;一份美丽的虚空。

星期一, 一月 1

爸爸还在我们身边

爸爸常讲不愿连累子女。生病了,不愿子女为庞大医药费烦恼。说人老了,再病,不过几年的事,医好了,也不过多活个几年; 要是医坏了,钱花大了,生命也结束。星期六傍晚,爸爸在冲凉房喊我们,见爸爸坐在地上,双脚无法移动,他惊慌大喊几下。妈妈在身边安慰。爸爸像一个受惊的小孩那样跟妈妈轻声说话。老蔡急急赶来看。他帮忙把父亲扶上床检查。头很晕,呕吐,双脚不受控制,老蔡点点头。他转向我,说马上叫救护车,很可能是中风。

爸爸当晚入院,隔天动了一个脑部插管手术。拜一早上八点左右,脑部再次溢血,不治身亡。前后不到两天时间。

爸爸过世后两个礼拜内,我、妈妈和妹妹时常出门办理事情。奇怪的是,无论到达多繁忙的地区,都没有苦寻停车位的问题。

回魂夜那晚,我们摆好祭品上楼睡觉。妈妈说,不怕的,是爸爸。我说,不怕,最好上来看我。上床后辗转反侧,难以入眠。有种奇妙的感觉,好像楼下有声音,好像房间里有别人。整晚不敢睁开眼睛,最后迷迷糊糊睡着了。第二天醒来,问大家谁梦见爸爸,大家说没有。妈妈说,有一块饼干掉在神台左边的地上,没有碎,很完整。而饼干的盘子,是摆在神台右边的。神台大概两,三尺高。

我接着说,昨晚梦见爸爸的背影。银白的头发,慢慢离我而去,没有说一句话。